Christmas Eve on Clubhouse

This is a record of the first Christmas on Clubhouse. This is a tale of leftovers. Residuals of a generation enslaved by follower counts, infinite scrolling and likes.

Sometime between 9 and 9:30 AM Pacific Time:

I notice a food blogger hosting a welcome room on Clubhouse. She is attractive, charming and ambitious. I join the room. The guest of the hour is a professional in the food business. She has less than 100 followers although I expect this will change soon. People take turns welcoming the new member. One man gives a welcome in the form of a promotional monologue. I start my breakfast as he gives his monologue. When I finish eating, he is still speaking. After this introduction, the food blogger I know introduces the new member to someone she wants the new member to meet. But the person left during the previous monologue. I wonder who that person was that left? Obviously, he valued his time more than I do mine.

The welcome room guest has over 90,000 followers on Instagram. I know because I checked. I always do. I make an introduction. I suggest that the new member store images of dishes as they are being made and PTR them. She does not know what PTR means. PTR means pull to refresh - specifically to refresh profile images. Clubhouse does not have an album so people often change their profile picture in order to share visuals. I tell the new member that if she stores images of a dish throughout the preparation it could increase the engagement rate of people in her rooms.

My logic is as follows: 1) Food influencers are only talking about food on Clubhouse 2) At most food influencers share an image of the finished dish (if any image at all) 3) Sharing images throughout the description of food preparation forces the audience to be engaged (by PTR’ing constantly to save images of the food prep). I have other ideas but leave it here. It is my way of demonstrating value.

Sometime starting around 11:15 AM Pacific Time:

A close friend of my mine is in a room about mental health. Someone talks about being at Burning Man and letting go. Words I hear - surrender, the mind, the body, the moment. A phrase I remember, ‘tending to the temple - the body.’ A woman that sounds deeply intelligent talks about synoptic responses. This conversation is beyond me. I become deeply aware that I might be the dumbest person in the room. I am a listener. I do not have the bravery to join the speaking stage of these intellectual giants.

My friend talks about ayahuasca - destruction of the self. He talks about dreams. He talks about the mind having it’s own language and how dreams speak to us. Droplets of understanding drip into my mind. I am trying to capture whatever meaning I can. This is not a normal occurrence on Clubhouse. I feel like an outsider that has snuck into a palace of academics. I am glad I am in the crowd and not revealed to be a fraud in front of everyone.

A man talks about rebooting a computer. Is it an allegory or a metaphor? I am not sure. I listen on. It’s around 11:47 PM now. “It’s so important, the intentions you set,” the deeply intelligent women says. Someone talks about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I’m skeptical of Maslow. A sigh of relief in my mind. Skepticism of the ideas of others gives me confidence. The deeply intelligent woman speaks about contagious vulnerability and I feel dumb again. I choose to leave the room at a high point of self-confidence.

11:53 AM Pacific Time - in a room of Asian Americans:

Someone talks about HBR and Asian Americans - specifically how Asian Americans are not represented in the C-level. He says we need to see more representation at the C-level. Another woman speaks about variations in Ivy League admittance relative to representation in the C Suite. Another man talks about representation in politics. Another person says they were discouraged from politics by his mom. A man says it’s not that Asian Americans are not politically engaged - it’s about engagement. Someone talks about lackluster support for Asian American political candidates. He brings up stopping the perpetuation of the model minority myth. He says there are many Asian American women who are not getting enough support for their community.

Someone says, “most of our parents brought us here for one reason - for better economic opportunities (than where they came from).” There are over 50 people in the room. A voice says there are Asian American politicians but he doesn’t support their beliefs. A racist troll named Abdi with a reddish tinted background was let onto the stage and starts screaming. I wish they let him stay in the room so I could block him. They should have made a screen shot of his screen name so every Asian in the room could block him. But they don’t. Asian Americans are not ruthless enough in my mind. People take advantage of our communities that lack vindictiveness. They need to learn to fear us. I note this irony in my mind given the context of the room.

Someone talks about doing free consulting for Asian American businesses. He talks about a lot of people in the food industry being punished. He says they are not making enough money without liquor sales in the current environment. I am glad he is speaking out. Not many are talking about the damage to the Asian American community as a result of the policies of politicians.

12:18 PM Pacific:

What type of human being would choose to spend Christmas Eve writing about a social media platform? A clout chaser. An aspiring thought leader. A fool. I look past Little Tokyo into the endless expanse of Los Angeles suburbs. In the debris of 2020, I found some wandering tribes that let me spend some time with them. Can a brand provide a community on Clubhouse? I sense that any brand that builds a community on Clubhouse would inspire deep brand loyalty.